Billboards and Basements: The Germination of A Novel

I've been writing since I was in middle school, as anyone who's been reading this blog for a while probably knows. 

After over ten years writing I've gotten used to grabbing a notebook and jotting down notes no matter where or when inspiration strikes. So a couple years ago when I saw a billboard for a mummy exhibit at the Philadelphia Science Center, and asked my friend Dom why mummies have been left out of the "sexy science fiction stories" trend, I took a second to write the question down. 

If Home is Where the Heart is...

My parents are getting divorced. Before you get upset or try and think of what to say...please know it's been on its way for like two years (conservatively) and honestly at this point it's long overdue and I'm sick of most of the circumstances around this situation.

That being said, I'm still obviously not "okay" with it. I'm never going to be "okay" with the end of my family as I've known it my whole life. I'm not really alright with the fact that my mom and dad won't be in one location anymore, and holidays won't be shared all together, and getting them to attend events at the same time is going to be awkward as hell.

I've had a few good grump sessions over this whole situation and more than one or two cries, but today was the first time in a long time when I got really properly sad over it. Today was different because tomorrow there's a realtor coming to look at the house, apparently. There's knowing your future will be changed forever, and then there's knowing, and this was the day when I shifted from regular to italics. It's sort of this pit that I accidentally swallowed a long time ago, but today the pit finally started to get digested. I could feel the weight shifting from my throat to my stomach, sit there like an impossible knot and challenge me to untangle whatever it was that had slid its way down my digestive system.

Now, something else to keep in consideration is my Stella Bean. My tiny 19 month old cousin is battling stage four neuroblastoma but she's constantly happy and light-hearted. She throws up, then motions for another donut. Her life is so full and positive and wonderful--even on the very worst of days. Stella inspires me, and she reminds me that focusing on the negative is a conscious choice that we make as "adults". So often we give in to the temptation to just feel that weight settle in when really we are the ones who swallowed the pit to begin with. If we'd just spit it out, or maybe never picked up the cherry from which the pit came in the first place, then perhaps we wouldn't be up late with stomach pains.

So yeah, I'm really upset. My family is dissolving into smaller pieces, my home is not going to be mine for much longer, my safety net has a huge hole right in the middle of it and I'm this close to falling through like a brick off a cliff. But from another perspective, there's a good chance family gatherings will actually be pleasant from here forward. My parents have shots at individual happiness. And knowing there's no safety net to catch me if I fall simply means I can't fall--I've got to find places that will pay me for my writing and pay me what I'm actually worth.

Anyhow I'm exhausted. I'm going to turn over and fall asleep with Doctor Who on in the background, because this is one of those weird things that soothes me whenever I'm feeling particularly grumpy.

Night,

--Jen

Progress

I finished storyboarding the play for my YA project and I am incredibly excited to get started on the actual writing. I had written the first scene, but was not sure where exactly the play was going, and since I am on REAL DEADLINES like a GROWNUP or something, I decided to plan out the whole thing before proceeding. And now I am finished with that part.

The play will be about a young girl who writes stories for her friends and then she gets into a fight with one of them and writes about it. The story is found and "reported" to the principal, and the main character gets in trouble for it.

Okay that is a very loose description of the plot. The main character also has an older brother who is leaving for college in the fall (or NOT leaving... dun dun DUN) and a best friend who is in his first ever real life relationship, and happens to be gay. Her other best friend is also in a relationship--albeit a much less functional one--and I have a feeling this relationship is going to play into the tension between the two of them at some point. I have also storyboarded for some mysterious phone calls, but might drop that because I am not quite sure where I'm going with that idea.

There are two inspirations from which this play has sprung: the first is a seed of autobiography because I used to write stories for and about my friends all the time; the second is thinking about censorship in YA literature and how much it annoys me when adults get all muddied up what teens "can and can't handle", without ever entering into a dialogue with the teen readers themselves. Although these adults may mean well, I don't think that the literature should be policed in such a way that is simultaneously too careful and FAR too careless. It made me think of how high schools frequently produce "junior" versions of shows, which also really bothers me because if you're already trusting your students with tough subject matter, I don't see what cutting one number or the other will do for your production. I think it's a bastardization of the original text, and that if a play is going to be produced it should be all or nothing.

These are preliminary thoughts that will eventually make their way into my paper, which is chugging right along. I have also redesigned the blog portion of this project: instead of once a week (which I have been slacking on...) I will be posting twice a week until May 11th, which is when the staged reading is scheduled. Wednesday and Saturday, starting this Saturday, will be the regular publication days. Once they are in a more polished form, I will probably be posting sections straight from the paper and maybe even sneak previews of the play!!

Things I need

I'm adding "Zelda Apron" to my list of costumes. Because apparently, I need one.

And by apparently, what I mean is OBVIOUSLY.

Here's my inspiration: Janielle on Etsy.

I am adding it to the sidebar of projects, and now I'm going to get back to noveling. 900 more words and I'll be at 30K! Exciting things, even though I'm still a few days behind. I've banned myself from facebook until the end of the month. I should probably also ban myself from Neopets and tumblr, but I'm not INSANE.

Or perhaps I am. Anyhow. More later.

People who Inspire Me

I'm taking a break from frantic noveling to write a list of people who continually inspire me. So here it is, in no particular order.

• Walt Disney-- always inspiring me to be creative in everything I do, to bring that creativity to others so that they can be as happy as I am when I'm creating!
• George Lucas--for striking out on his own and believing in his own work so strongly, loving what he does so passionately that he was wiling to put his entire career on the line.
• Jason Segel-- for writing the Muppets movie. Because it's something he's wanted to do his entire life, and he's never stopped working towards it.
• John and Hank Green-- for taking a small project about communication with each other and turning it into a huge, beautiful community of people decreasing world suck.
• Stephen Hillenberg-- for knowing when to quit his day job and start doodling full time.
• Jonathan Larson-- for teaching me that there's no day but today, and that some people's landmark birthdays are just the beginning for others.
• My sisters-- for being themselves and letting me be myself. For never following in each other's footsteps and continually challenging but still loving each other.

I'm sure there are more, but for now that's what's coming to mind and I've got to get back to noveling. Until next time!!

Harry Potter is my Star Wars... and other thoughts

First of all, I love Star Wars, almost as much as I love Harry Potter. The difference is that I knew all Star Wars' dirty little secrets before going into any movie-viewing experience.  Even when the prequel series was brand new and in theatres, by the very nature of the beast I knew somewhere along the line that blonde kid was going to have breathing problems and Natalie Portman was going to get HUGE.
But as each Harry Potter book came out, it was a brand new experience, and, with the exception of Order of the Phoenix (more on that in another post), I read them faster than anything could get posted, written, or said about them.  That's not to say I rushed--I definitely took my time and read them at whatever pace it is I normally read at.
I have three younger sisters. The sister closest to me in age (17 months younger, to the day.) sort of read the HP books, but never really got into them. The next sister (seven years younger) tried reading one because I wouldn't stop pestering her, but only liked when I read them out loud with lots of different voices.  If you've ever tried this, you know it is not an easy endeavor, and you have a grand appreciation for Jim Dale or else you have no soul. My youngest sister, who is now 13, decided to start reading the books this past January and just finished up the seventh recently.  Upon asking her about the books, she told me her favorite was Half-Blood Prince, which confused me a lot, considering books five and six are sort of hard to get through even if you're the same age as the characters. I asked her why. Her response "It's like the book that Belle reads in Beauty and the Beast-- far off places, daring swordfights, a prince in disguise."

My sister, who is brilliant and imaginative and original, was basing her favorite Harry Potter choice on a tumblr meme.

This troubled me, because what the hell.  Anyhow I decided that I wanted to talk to her more about her choices re: Harry Potter, why she thinks she read them and who she identifies with and why she decided to marathon-read the books before the last movie. (there is some dispute between Jeremy and myself re: the definition of the word 'marathon'. I think the way that Lauryn read the books is more important than how fast she actually read them.  Jer disagrees--the fact that she read, on average, one book a month is pretty normal, and he doesn't think that counts as a marathon based on the speed.)
In the mean time, I'm thinking about my relationship with Star Wars and how I saw Phantom Menace in theatres before ever watching one whole Star Wars movie all the way through. What's that about? Maybe it's the same thing--social pressure to be into something that's hugely popular.  I mean, I've been sending my love Star Wars' way for years now, and I still barely understand what the "War" is actually about. True, my Han Solo-Princess Leia knowledge is a bit above average, and at one time I wrote a paper comparing literary greats to Jedi and Sith, but how can I chastise Lauryn for doing... exactly what I'm doing?
These thoughts, and plenty more, have inspired me to start a series of conversations with my sisters about their relationships with popular literature, particularly Harry Potter and Twilight, and about YA fiction in general.  And so, I am launching a series that is yet untitled, but will consist of myself and my sisters talking about books and movies.
I've got to go back to work, but I wanted to make sure you guys know there are projects in the works (always. I promise) and that I am so super excited about this one I wanted to let you all know about it! Let me know what you want to hear about from me and my sisters (that sounds both cultish and ghetto at once...), and I will do my best to accommodate!

EDIT: Check this out while you're waiting. CAUTION: SPOILERS AND BAD LANGUAGE AHEAD: http://deadspin.com/5821183/harry-potter-versus-star-wars-the-final-judgment

My new Printer/Scanner has its own email address...

Hi! So it looks like maybe every other day is the goal I'm going to be aiming for.  Even in a month as quiet and relatively empty as June has been, writing for an hour each day has proven to be incredibly difficult.  I spent the better part of yesterday in the city with Sara Z for her b-day and it was an incredibly exhausting day (I did not expect to be out in the sun for hours and was not hydrated enough...) but it was also awesome and full of new adventures for me and for Sara. I will definitely be writing about that today.
We started off taking a ferry to Governor's island where a group called Figment has artists come and install interactive art pieces.  Not only was the art really cool and fun to play with, but the island used to be owned by the army or something and so there are all these buildings (including a library and gigantic fort, which is called Castle Williams) that are closed but still in excellent condition, being kept up by the city and what not.  There are all these bikes that are free to ride around the island, and little cafe areas everywhere and a mini-beach and when ferrys drive past the wake makes the water crash up and over the seawall and you can stand at the fence and cool off your feet.  It's a place I wish we had had more time to explore, because it really was beautiful but by the time we got there there was definitely a "packing up" vibe, and we were in the middle of a game of mini-golf on a course where each hole was designed by a different artist when men in golf carts with megaphones started driving around telling everyone the last ferry would be leaving soon and we had to head toward the docks.
Then we ventured into Chinatown, where I had also never been, and I honestly felt like I was in Epcot.  I thought there was no way that Chinatown could really exist in the middle of New York (alright, so it's not the middle, but still.  It was a weird dose of culture shock...) and we went to this vegetarian Dim Sum place.  I had never had Dim Sum before, but the food was delicious (Sara was less impressed) even though the service was... weird.  It was getting late so we had to part ways at that point, Sara apparently headed to a museum that was open until about 9 and I headed to Penn station, met up with Jeremy, and headed back to Montclair.

I used to go into New York all the time when I was in high school, and pretty much every winter and summer through the first couple years of college.  The problem with those trips was that they never covered much of the city.  For the most part, they consisted of heading straight from Grand Central to my destination, which was almost always a Broadway theatre.  Sometimes I would walk around to Radio City Music Hall and Rockefeller Plaza and the Nintendo store, but rarely.  In the past two or three years, however, I have explored whole new (to me, at least) sections of the city, starting with Greenwich Village on a trip with Goucher people about two years ago.  Sarah (different Sarah.) and Eric and I headed straight from Times Square for the Village, where we had never been, and explored our hearts out.  We were at Oscar Wilde bookstore the weekend it was closing.  We had lunch at some hole in the wall where I got black bean soup.  We sniffed the air at Magnolia's bakery (that was about all we could afford...) and then topped off the night with dinner at a bar/restaurant I couldn't find again if I tried.  It was the first genuinely spontaneous day in the city I had ever experienced. Then last summer I followed Margaret and Hannah to a theatre where they had been putting in slave labor hours, and I passed Ground Zero for the first time ever- before or after 9/11.  I couldn't stay long.
And just a couple weeks ago Margaret, Ben and I wandered about Chelsea before a Bowling for Soup concert at the Highline Ballroom.  It's only starting to dawn on me now that I have barely even scraped the surface of what New York City really is, and even though none of the city makes me nearly as nervous as it's supposed to, I'm starting to realize how unfamiliar I really am with the greatest city in the world.  Instead of depressing me, this actually makes me really really excited.  This means that
1. New York does NOT have to drain my pockets.  I spent MAYBE  thirty bucks all day yesterday.  The less expensive, the better, and actually I would wager good money that the off-broadway scene is way cooler than seeing Wicked sixty thousand times.
2. There is a ton of stuff to discover.  Governor's Island is what really brought this home for me.  My camera also died early in our time there, which bummed me out but also meant I wasn't seeing everything through a screen, but witnessing it first hand and participating in a lot of different installations that I may not have participated in if I was busy documenting it in photos.
3. Times Square is kind of boring.  You can only wander through Toys R Us so many times--and this experience is made worse when your pockets are empty--before it becomes sort of depressing.  Also, my old trips into the City were really consumer-centric, as in, the worth of the trip could be measured in what I brought home from it, in a tangible sense.  These new trips I spend the train ride home thinking and mulling over the things I've seen and been a part of, and realizing all over again how New York really is something I just want to be a part of.  Broadway is great, but discovering a new restaurant is even better, and experiencing art and meeting really interesting people for free is best of all.
Anyhow.  I'm really pleased with these trips that have me riding the subway all over creation, and figuring out how to get back to Penn station without spending too much money, and walking until my feet are numb and collapsing into bed when I get home.  I'm really excited to take other people on these adventures with me, especially Ali who has gone on more than one trip with me where most of the pictures we take are of billboards.  I think she really would have loved the Figment experience, and so would Jer.  I would have loved to explore the buildings more, Jer would love the bike riding, Ali would love all the art and the water...
I've also never done a few incredibly touristy things in New York, like visiting the Empire State Building, going inside the Statue of Liberty, and seeing the Imagine Memorial in Central Park. These are all on my bucket list.
On that same note, while I was sitting in Borders waiting for Sara to arrive, I came up with a new idea: A Shame list.  This would be a list of things we're embarrassed we haven't done yet.  Like, never going inside the Empire State Building or never reading Animal Farm or never seeing Singin' in the Rain.  This is more than just a bucket list.  This is a different, albeit similar, kind of list.  I'm going to be building my shame list soon, and hopefully start working on it with Margaret soon after that.  Exploring New York is part of my shame list, and I'm so happy that I've begun chipping away at it.
Of course, this will get easier once I'm working in the Village three days a week... which begins this coming Monday!
I'm about twenty minutes away from the end of my hour, and I don't know what else to write about.  I got a new scanner/printer today, and it's a much bigger deal than it should be.  This is only the second printer I have ever owned and the first one was so brilliant that I cringe to think that I had to swap it out.  I'm going to be giving my old printer (which was a high school graduation gift from my Grammy) to my sister, who will probably be heading to college herself in about a year and even if she stays at home she will need a printer of her own.  It's the best printer ever- I have literally never had a problem with it- and if Caitlin doesn't want it, and Lauryn doesn't want it, then I will keep it and have two printers just for the hell of it until they stop making ink for the original printer.  That's how good this sucker was.  The problem, of course, was that this old trooper didn't print photos very well and it didn't have a scanner... which is what led me to the printer section at Target in the first place.
But this new printer (his name is Winston.) has a scanner, and it's wireless, and it has its own email address that I can send things to it from anywhere in the world and it will print.  Like a fax machine, only sexier.  Also, this new printer is an HP, just like the old one, so I feel like at least I'm keeping it in the family.  I guess.  If Winston is anywhere near as reliable as the old Printer, then I will have him for at least six years without any problems.
I guess that's all I've got to say today. With any luck, I'll be back tomorrow.
~Jenisaur

I know it sounds sordid, but you'll be rewarded...

Organizing my iTunes library, since I finally got all my music off my external harddrive and on to my laptop.
Working my way through my massive Disney music collection.
I just obtained a whole bunch of Parks music.
Once this library is organized and no longer gives me anxiety attacks just thinking about it (sad, but true) then it will provide delicious background music for writing and editing.

Yes. A day and a half's worth of music in my Disney folder alone...

Procrastinating Jen is writing this post in order to NOT work on important things, and make her OCD about music labeling seem important...


EDIT:
Ten hours later, I have finished with the Disney section of the library.  Ten hours, only stopping to use the bathroom.  But hot damn does the Disney section look pretty :D