I'm going to be honest. I'm totally at a loss re: what to write about today. I got sort of distracted yesterday and didn't write, so article number one is that I need a penalty. Plus, I don't really know what to write about today, and I had real work while I was at the school today, so I didn't even do anything to build towards my challenge tonight. Plus, I really have to pee so I'm going to have to take a short break from the hour solid to go use the facilities.
Back.
I'm sort of in a totally unjustified rut. I'm in a pretty good place in general (in every sense but the geographic one...) and I have no reason to be feeling the way I've been feeling this week. Maybe it's the weather. I don't even have any good guesses as far as what could be getting me this down. I need a break, I think. Sunday was the first day in a really long time where I literally did nothing, and it was glorious. I need more days like Sunday. And now My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding is on, which is... weird. I am so distracted by the giant dresses.
Okay I just lost ten minutes staring at the tele. Where the hell did that show come from? And why are eight years olds dropping it like it's hot?
I really think I should take a few days off from the challenge proper and redesign it. Or maybe now that I'm not doing my assisstantship anymore for the summer, I'll have a little time to think about what I'm going to do for the rest of the month. I feel like I should push myself further than I ever have before, and I like the ideas behind this challenge, I'm just getting lazy and it's only a week in. I can't miss any more days, I think it would just depress me to give up now. So what should I write about for the next hour? That, I guess, is the million dollar question.
I want to get more organized. I would really like to start moving things out of this house to other locations-mostly up to Stamford since we can't move it anywhere else really... because we don't know where we're going to be moving to. That might be the thing that's really bugging me right now, is being so close to moving while still being so far away. I want to get the hell out of here and start living in a place I actually like with Jeremy. I think being able to decorate the apartment however we want and only having to worry about each other is going to be a huge change and I can't wait, because I am so sick of this house and all the lazy bullshit that ensues here it's really absurd.
I'm looking forward to not keeping things like garbage bags and toilet paper on the floor in our bedroom, and not having to throw out garbage bags full of rotten food once every two weeks. I'm looking forward to a lot of things, and they're far enough away on the horizon that for right now it's frustrating.
In the mean time I sit around trying to make the best of what's kind of a shitty situation, and you can only do that so much before you just get defeated and frustrated.
I apologize this challenge was not supposed to be about me griping, although getting the gripe out onto the page (be it digital or not) may help with this creative roadblock I seem to be hitting. There was something about writer's block in the imagineering workout... hold on ooooone second
*jeopardy music plays*
Okay. A quick thumb through of the book reminded me of three things:
1. to stay positive. Maybe it's just because it's coming from the imagineers. Maybe it's there all the time and I just forget (most likely) or maybe I can't help smiling when I see Figment, but this advice is pretty solid. I'm feeling a little better already, especially considering that thing number two is:
2. regardless of what you think re: the quality of what's being recorded, you can only get through writer's block by continuing to work, especially if you have a deadline. I am going to keep writing today's entry, because "won't" and "can't" HAVE to come out of my vocabulary. I have to stop being so hard on myself and even though I love Yoda and believe all of his advice, there is such a thing as try. I think Yoda knows that, too. I think what he's saying to Luke isn't that there's no such THING as try, but that you can't have the attitude that trying is good enough. You either do something, or you don't. If plan A falls through, there's always a Plan B and as soon as you shrug and think "ah well. At least I tried" you've already failed. Just keep going and doing and swimming, and eventually the pay off will come. And on a slightly related note:
3. Changing gears is okay. So the first rigid set of rules for the challenge are proving to be a bit self-defeating. Plan B goes into effect now. I'm going to write for an hour every day, best case scenario it's going to be about a new movie, article, project, etc. The topic HAS to be new, and the writing HAS to happen for an hour. Everything else is relative. Penalty for not writing still has to happen, and it can be more writing, if I so choose, but it has to be decided and completed within a week of the original offense or else more penalty gets tacked on.
I have to edit for Elizabeth tonight. I am love love loving her book so far, which makes it infinitely easier to edit, because I want to help make it even better. I hate editing things that aren't fun to read, because I feel like the writer won't be able to benefit from my edits because I have no stock in the piece itself. But I like Elizabeth's book, I feel that I can sympathize with her, and I want to work on it until it's perfect. Unfortunately, that project DOES have a deadline, and it's coming up soon, so I better get crackin because I NEVER get work done on the weekends, even though I really need to start.
My internship starts on Monday! Well, technically it doesn't. Monday is orientation day, so I don't think that technically counts as the first day. But I'll be doing something new, and fun, and challenging and something I def. can't take home with me, so that will be stellar. It will be a nice change of pace to have some guidance and supervision, so that I'll actually know what my bosses want from me as opposed to... other places I have worked.
You know, an hour has never been as long as it is when I'm writing these entries, but then I inevitable stumble upon something I like with like five minutes to spare and then I end up writing frantically to make up for the time lost staring into space while I'm at the half-way mark like I am now. I'm going to write a list of things I would like to work on next week in the challenge:
1. Working through the AP stylebook. I need to know about how journalism actually works, in the real world, as opposed to my strange, specialized free-lance world.
2. Reading Wesley the Owl.
3. Editing By the Sound.
4. Starting work on A Chorus Line dramaturgy.
5. Writing about Music- reinstate Blink 182sdays. Find out where that takes you.
6. New Crafting project. This can be a craft in the design stages.
7. Searching for people who don't want to be found.
That seems like a pretty solid week. Some nice variety. At the very least, I'll stumble on something interesting, and get to flex some muscles I haven't flexed in a while. I still need to do an hour of exercise as a penalty for my mis-step last Friday. This Friday I better write early, because I'm going into the city with Miss Sara Z for her b-day and we're going to go to a museum that has as of yet been undetermined. Although I could wait to write until the end of the day... that could be my field trip challenge. Anyhow. It's been an hour(ish) and I'm too fascinated by this gypsy shit... I want to get back to watching this show. I will be back tomorrow. <3
~Jenisaur
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